If there’s one thing we could all benefit from it’s a healthy dose of self-confidence.
I know, some of you big Doms out there are thinking, “Heh, I’ve got all the confidence I need. I’m a handsome stud with muscles and boys at my feet.” But I bet deep down inside there are some little shaky spots in your tough guy act.
Most of the time I’m a pretty secure guy with a confident stride and a charming smile. On a really good day I feel like a fully assembled Voltron with a power sword charged up and ready to go.
But on a bad day, I can crumple up, put my head down and feel like a lost little boy. My insecurities and self-doubts consume me and prevent me from doing the things I want to do. On these days I feel like I don’t meet the expectations of the world and people around me and instead of Voltron, I’m like a sad bleep-bloopy R2-D2. BUT, I’ve come to learn that these feelings of self doubt are a load of crap.
I’ve talked to a lot of men about their feelings of insecurity and have found that most guys deal with some degree of confidence vs. insecurity (especially the big Doms). A gorgeous daddy feels too old, a burly bear feels too hairy, a cutie pie boy feels too skinny. For the most part, these self-doubts that seem so big and halting to the individual can actually appear rather silly and insignificant to others…age is a plus, fur is sexy, being svelte is desirable. And sometimes whatever little item of insecurity an individual feels is a “big deal” really isn’t noticed due to all the other attributes he brings to the table.
We are our own worst enemy…I am my worst enemy. I can do more harm and hold back myself more than anyone else. But fortunately this also means I’m also my great ally and I can empower myself with more fire and passion than anyone else. The number one way to gain more confidence is simply to choose to believe in myself and push myself forward. My worth is determined by ME and once I value myself, others will follow.
What’s that line Rupaul says at the end of her show…”If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love someone else?” Yeah, you gotta start with yourself. The validation we sometimes wait to get from others aint never gonna come…so you gotta validate yourself, press start, and GO! And once the glow of manly confidence is surrounding you, others will recognize your strength and that positive energy will continue to multiply. Nights at the Eagle will go from standing aloof and silent against the wall to having to fend off the men with a stick/whip/paddle.
Today is your day. You’re ready, you’re complete. Engage.