STUFF IT! Mr. Eagle 2012 Holiday Benefit

Posted on December 7, 2011 by Justin Shaddix

Mr. Eagle 2012 photography by Peter Lau

Lads and Dads, pups and pervs, Leathermen and everyone else, come out to the NYC Eagle THIS THURSDAY, Dec. 8th, for Mr. Eagle 2012, A.C. Demidont’s, holiday benefit RAFFLE and GIFT DRIVE for the Ali Forney Center.

Each year the Ali Forney Center provides holiday gifts for the youth in their housing programs, as well as the youth receiving services at their Day Center. For many of these youth this will be the only gift they receive for the holidays and possibly the only gift they have received in years. The goal is to brighten the holidays for these wonderful youth during what is typically a very depressing time in their lives.  So come to the Eagle, wear your gear and see your brothers, buy some raffle tickets (sold by hot men in jocks) or bring one of the following suggested items to donate.

Donations:
• Gift Certificates in denominations of $10 each:
(McDonalds, Itunes, Starbucks, Old Navy, etc.)
• New socks (white tube socks or heavy wool socks)
• Book bags/back packs
• Notebooks, pens, pencils, markers, etc
• Gift wrapping supplies
• Candy

Items the Ali Forney Center Always Needs:
• Non-perishable foods
• Toiletries
• Cleaning supplies
• Office supplies
• Computers and technology supplies
• Twin sheet sets
• Towels and wash cloths
• Socks, underwear and T-shirts
• School supplies and book bags.

5 free raffle tickets for any donation made to the Ali Forney center.  Raffle sponsored by Kiehls, The LeatherMan NYC, Manskins, Square Pegs, The Eagle NYC, Sony Pictures and more (the prizes will be awesome!)

Doors open at 10.
Raffle Prizes announced at 1.
*and yours truly will be selling raffle tickets all night in a jockstrap*

Come on out and do some good!

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2 Weeks Unplugged: The Debrief

Posted on November 30, 2011 by Justin Shaddix

Better when used in real life than on Scurff

After last week’s post about being unplugged, I’ve spent the last 2 weeks abstaining (more or less) from my online profile sites in an attempt to break my addiction and experience the gay world more in reality and less online (viva reality!).  This has been an overall good experience for me so I chronicled my thoughts and emotions over the  past 14 days.

Day 1
I’m exhilarated to be free!  As with any abstaining project, day one is the easiest and most exciting day.  I feel good about my decision, strong in my willpower, and looking forward to the better life that surely awaits me in the near future.  I’m doing a great job.  Who needs stupid Scruff?  I’ll go wink at strangers on 8th Ave!

Day 2, 3, 4
WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME, OH FURRY ONES!?  Yeah so day two starts off with a little twinge of “I need to sign in and check…” but that’s quickly countered by the reminder that what I’m doing is good for me.  I avoid my profiles but gradually feel a greater and greater urge to check them.  By the middle of day three I’m having to actively tell myself, “NO, resist the urge!” and end up just checking email and Facebook more.  Day Four is full of Facebook checking and poking waaaaaay too many strange hot men who FB suggests I friend.  Multiple friend requests go out.

Day 5
Somehow I stumbled over to Craigslist to scan through the “missed connections” page and then I just go ahead and plunge right into “men for men” with all its filthy and grammatically horrendous requests and images.  This is the lowest, ugliest face on the online totem pole, but the part of my brain that gets off on the thrill is so hungry.  I remember a friend telling me that the stimulation from perving out online is similar to drug use in that it’s just a stimuli stirring up chemicals in the brain that make you feel good.  I realize I’ve replaced the “quality drugs” of my profiles to the swill of Craigslist and the un-fulfilling/limited imagery of Facebook.  I have doubts that this is progress.

Day 6, 7, 8
I see a friend searching Scruff endlessly while at a bar and want to reach out and say, “you don’t have to do this, there’s a better way”.  Watching him scan and tap and type over and over gives me pause to consider how I’m happy I’ve not logged in for a while and I feel a sense of relief and accomplishment.  I then look up and see a man with a dark moustache across the room giving my devilish looks.  I go over and say hello.  Much easier than using an app.

Day 9
ARGH!  I need to contact someone and the only way I can do it is to log in.  I begrudgingly open the app.  One thousand messages await.  I scroll through some, ignore others, hate that I’m back in this tedious, inefficient trap of pseudo-communication and frustration.  Blech this feels so alien and…and…Oh he’s hot…let me just reply to a few of these…

Day 10, 11
I log in briefly a few times to get my fix.  Not anything like before with the 6:30am check ins and constant cruising throughout the day, but I still allow the urge to check the profiles control what I do instead of that rational part of my brain saying, “this is a waste of time/energy”.  I recognize that the payoff for all the work really does not justify all the effort of browsing profiles and messaging guys.  I’m also beginning to realize that the men I meet in real life at the gym or at a bar are on average more handsome and more compatible than those I use to meet online.

Day 12, 13
A smile at the gym is worth a hundred “woofs” on Scruff.  I’ve come to like life more without the constant presence of the online profile checking-n-messaging.  I’ve also come to realize that actually going up to men in public places is a highly effective way to meet them without the need to exchange a dozen banal messages first.  This is great.  I feel more confident too.  I still like my profiles…still fun to check, but their dominance over my social strategy has been greatly reduced.  Plus in real life my pics are always up to date.

The next step
I’d like to keep my profile use down to a minimum and keep engaging with men more in reality.  I save time and energy, and feel like I’m more productive this way.

What about you all?  Your thoughts/experiences on unplugging?

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The Great Unplug

Posted on November 16, 2011 by Justin Shaddix

I'm unplugging from the online hook up world for a lil while

I have an addiction.  A dirty, tedious little addiction to online/mobile profile sites.    Currently I check 3 of them (really only care about 2) and spend way too much time browsing, flirting, and perving out, and far too little time actually connecting with the men.  I know I’m not alone.  We live in a society of hook up apps and sites that enthrall millions of users who turn to smart phones and laptops instead of bars and public spaces for personal engagement.  One of the great cries of the gays–be they Leather or other–is “internet killed the community!”  In small towns across America, local gay bars are closing due to the fact men now only need to log on to a site to find their dalliances.  And the Leather folk have been saying for years that with the expansion of the internet comes the dwindling of the community.

But I’m getting a bit off topic here.  My point is I have developed a habit of compulsively checking my profiles for messages whenever there’s a free minute…or when I wake up at 6:26am.  The alarm goes off, I grope to shut it off, then check to see who groped/woofed/cruised me.  This morning I felt like a cigarette addict fumbling for the first inhale to get the fix for the start of the day.  It’s not cool.  I waste so much time and get so hungry looking at the profiles and end up going through a repeating pattern of assessment, being assessed, and ultimately NOT hooking up (that whole follow through thing gay men are so good at).

After my conversations with Chad States about Cruising (last week’s post) I got the idea to UNPLUG from these time-suck tools and actually try to engage with men in the REAL WORLD.  Going up to a man in a bar and saying hello gives you 10times the information you glean from a Scruff profile in only a fraction of the time.  You can instantly know if the guy looks/feels/smells right without the need to decipher personal descriptions and little photos.

Don’t get me wrong, I have made substantial connections with men via online profiles over the years.  Men who have become friends, boyfriends, or even just impactful encounters…the online tools can be good to you.  But recently I feel like there’s a great imbalance between the amount of time/energy spent using the tools and the quality/value of  human connection I get out of them.

So today, after I publish this post, I will be taking a break from my sites and apps.  I will set myself free from the compulsion to check…and re-check…and check again…and woof…and message, and refresh, etc etc etc.  I will stop looking down at my phone and start looking around on the street for potential encounters.  I do this because I feel it will be a healthy change AND to experience what my forefathers (fore-queens?) did before the online world took over.  I know I’ll want to log in very badly–especially at first–but I hope in time I can get some freedom from this addiction and learn the value of face-to-face meetings.  I’m setting my goal for ONE WEEK at first and will see how it goes (I gotta be realistic about this).  Wish me luck!

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CRUISING with Chad States

Posted on November 11, 2011 by Justin Shaddix

RUFF. Wouldn't mind encountering this man in the woods

Chad States is a sexy lad and photographer who recently released his first monograph entitled Cruising that features beautiful images of parks and locales where men hunt and indulge in primal connections.  An exploration of public spaces where these interactions take place, Cruising captures and preserves an aspect of gay men’s culture that many men can relate to and fantasize about in intimate and lush images.  I had a chance to talk to Chad about his book and thoughts on cruising.

1. Chad, I always ask my interview subjects about their hanky colors.  What are yours?
That’s easy—hunter green, right pocket.

2. What inspired you to create a book about cruising?
I became interested in working on a photographic project about cruising when the park near my house in Delaware became a cruise site over the course of one summer. I started to wonder how these cruise sites originate since cruising is all about anonymity and disconnect.  So I started to search these sites out in my local area and in doing so was reminded of how much I loved to cruise when I was a teenager.

3. Do you enjoy cruising?
 I love cruising!  It is one of the most erotic things to me.  Not just cruising in woods but cruising in general.  I am very visual and I love to watch and the act of cruising is all done through the eyes, which of course ties back to photography.  I love that you can see someone you don’t know and hold their gaze and you don’t even have to talk and there can be an incredible sexual charge.  I love that immediate exchange of sexual energy.  The exchange doesn’t even have to end up with sex either, but the potential that it could makes it exciting for me.  I cruised all the time as a teenager and into my early twenties and I have had some amazing experiences.  So for me there is a certain nostalgia in the work, for my own experiences but also the thought that an activity that was once so integral to gay culture is waning in part due to Grindr and Manhunt.

4. So how does the waning of cruising in a changing queer landscape make you feel?
I think it is sad. I am on Grindr and Scruff and all but I don’t like this form of interaction, it isn’t adventurous enough for me and I want my sexuality to feel adventurous.  Plus these digital ways of cruising strips away chemistry which is so important in a sexual interaction.  There are plenty of guys that I have hooked up with that I met at a bar/bathhouse/cruise park that I would have never given the slightest attention in a digital interaction but in person I feel a sexual chemistry towards.

Beyond all this, I am a big advocate of sexual behavior that is traditionally seen as deviant.  For me there was so much shame surrounding sex before I came out.  After I came out I saw sex as full of possibility that was fun and healthy.  And being gay gave me that perspective. And there have been gay guys out there that have responded negatively to this work because they think that people who cruise are forced to do so and that I have no right to photograph them.  And there is truth to that, but I would argue that there are even more people who go to cruising parks because they like it and enjoy them—not because this is their only outlet.

There’s also a feeling of nostalgia that comes from the loss of culture as gay people become more and more accepted into the mainstream.  Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to go back to a time where it was difficult to be out and open about ones sexuality and I am all for advancing queer rights further, but when you are marginalized there is a stronger need for community and a stronger need to carve out specifically gay spaces like bars, cruising parks, bathhouse and such.  Now, it seems these spaces are needed less and less, which again is wonderful in many respects, but at the same time it is sad that aspects of gay culture are being lost in the process.

5. Tell me about the process of capturing the images for your book.
I began this project 4 years ago.  At first I was simply interested in the landscape in which these activities took place and then as I continued I started to interact more and more until I was able to start making the photographs of sexual encounters.  It took me a long time to figure out how to make the more sexually explicit photographs.  What I discovered was that if I engaged in the activities and became an insider (which I was happy to do) then I could become accepted and make the photographs.  So many of the people within the images are fully aware of my camera—it is not something that I’m hiding, but the camera becomes part of the sexual play and the people in the photographs become performers.

6. Any advice for the male cruiser?
Keep hope alive!

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You can get your own copy of Cruising through powerHouse books.

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MEN OF THE SASH: 2012 Charity Calendar of Titleholders

Posted on November 3, 2011 by Justin Shaddix

A whole year of Leathermen staring you down

Your 2012 leatherman calendar is here!  Jed Ryan, Mr. Rawhide 2011, and some of his loyal brothers have put together a fun and HOT calendar to celebrate our community and raise money for worthy causes.  This calendar features 12 titleholders from across the Leather Nation each with his own style, scent, and message.  All proceeds go towards charity and you get to enjoy hot men year round.  Here’s more from Mr. Rawhide about the project:


What inspired you to make this calendar?
The idea to do “Men of the Sash” had been floating around in my head for a couple of years, since I first got involved in the Leather world–but when I won the Title of Mr. Rawhide 2011 in March, I decided the time was right.  As a Titleholder, you’re expected to do more than just look sexy in your gear; you’re expected to raise money for charity–and its most fitting, I believe, to choose charities that benefit the Leather Nation and/or the LGBT community as a whole.  That’s why I chose the Leather Archives & Museum as one of the beneficiaries because they are dedicated to preserving decades worth of Leather/BDSM/fetish history.  The second organization I picked was The HIV/AIDS Services of the LGBT Center of New York City because HIV/AIDS is an issue that continues to affect our entire community on a day-to-day basis.  I wanted to do something that would be a winning situation for all–for charity, for the participants, and of course, for whoever has the calendar up on their wall!

There are a lot of titleholders out there.  How did you chose the men who are featured?
All of these guys are men I know personally and who I have gotten to know over the past few years.  All of them are very dedicated to the Leather or Bear communities in their own unique way and, as you can see, they are a wide variety of– shall we say, “types”.  That’s just what I wanted.  “Sexy” comes in all shapes and sizes, don’t you agree?!

What role do you think title holders play in our community?
A lot of people in the LGBT world at large think of Leathermen as too tied up (ahem!… ) in tradition, and too identified with the past– especially in New York City, where everything is focused on moving full steam ahead towards the next big thing waiting to happen.  Everyone’s entitled to their opinion, but I believe that Leather guys are among the last bastions of traditional masculinity and male beauty (along with wrestlers, rugby players, and cowboys!) .  We really hold sacred the values of loyalty, philanthropy, and respect for tradition.  Titleholders are role models, so it’s up to us to promote these positive aspects of our community.  It’s with Leathermen and Bears that I feel most at home and have the most fun; and, as anyone who knows me will tell you, “Leather Butts Drive Me Nuts”!

How can someone get their hungry little paws on one of these handsome calendars?
Anyone who wants “Men of the Sash” can contact me at JedstarNY@aol.com.  If you live in New York City or the adjacent areas, We can meet up or I can deliver to your door.  I will also ship anywhere.  There will be calendars for sale at the upcoming event “Men In Black” at New York City’s Rockbar on Friday, November 4th.  We will have some of the models there for a meet and greet.  I will be a Special Guest at The Will Clark Show at Pieces on Wednesday, November 30th for “Night of 1,000 Santas”,  and I’ll have calendars there too. Other events are in the works.  The best thing to do is to hit me up, either by e-mail or by Facebook.

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Men of the Months
January – Mr. Connecticut Leather 2011 Tim White (AKA Leatherdaddy Tim)
February – Mr. New Jersey Leather 2011 Rob Vitale (AKA scruffy)
March – Mr. Boston Leather 2011 David Durman
April – Mid-Atlantic leatherboy 2011 Andy Tonken
May – Mr. DC Eagle 2011 Mike Kramer
June – Mr. Tri-State Leather 2010 Russ Donaldson
July – Mr. Metrobear NYC 2011 Sunshine Richard McLean
August – Mr. Stonewall Bear 2011 Mike Fass (AKA Drummerbear)
September – Mr. Metrocub NYC 2011 Heriberto Oquendo Jr.
October – Mr. Rawhide NYC 2011 Jed Ryan
November – Mr. Ohio Leather 2011 Mike Greisinger
December – Mr. Eagle NYC 2011 C.B. Kirby

Photographers
Rob Ordonez, Chris SKelley, and Scott G. Brooks.

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Rubber Brothers

Posted on October 21, 2011 by Justin Shaddix

Rubber lads

“Rubber is not trying to be the new leather–it’s just an extension of the community,” says the man in a latex hood on stage hosting the Mr. American Rubber contest.  A shiny crowd of black, blue, yellow, and red rubber-wearing men stand around the bar waiting to see the three brave contestants who are running for this year’s title.  Held at Rock Bar–the very last gay bar on Christopher Street right up against the West Side Highway–the contest is in its 4th year with an ever-increasing crowd attending.  And I must say it’s a hot crowd–ruff!

Arriving at the contest I was instantly smiling at all the men in gear.  I check my street clothes at the free coat check, pick up a reasonably priced drink, lick some familiar faces, and have slightly awkward interactions with people I’ve met exclusively through Recon and thus only have a screen name to call them by.  There are guys of all ages and for the most part the men are younger and slimmer than the crowds I see at the Eagle.  Some of the rubber guys also have a punk edge with more piercings and sharper hairstyles then the average gear guy.  It’s a new crowd for me and I’m liking it…a lot.

When it comes to gear, I love my combat boots and my sports gear;  leather is for fancy dress and rubber is a material that I haven’t really explore yet.  I worry over the need to care for the rubber more (washing, powdering, properly storing) and I haven’t really had a hunger to get all slicked up.  But after seeing my buds all rubbered up and getting a feel for how great it can feel to wear the kinky material I must say I’m intrigued.  We are a big, mixed community and I love exploring the different families of gear.

Speaking of our big mixed community, going to this contest opened my eyes more to just how diverse we are as a group.  Honestly it’s a bit ridiculous just how many fetish groups are all pushed under the “Leather” umbrella.  The diversity of interests, beliefs, desires, and goals for all the men and women involved has an expansive range and I feel it’s important to not let any one of these groups try to govern the others.  The core of our beliefs revolve around an idea of personal freedom and expression that lends itself to self exploration and enjoyment.  Folks accomplish this an array of ways from putting on full leather uniforms and being Mr. 100% Dom, to morphing into puppies and wrestling around, to enjoying the rush of getting flogged, etc. etc. etc.  lordthelistgoesonandon.  BUT the key is we all just want to have a good time and not be judged for it.

There’s a lot to explore and I love experiencing new things with new people.  Never a dull moment for the open-minded 🙂

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Happy National Coming Out Day!

Posted on October 11, 2011 by Justin Shaddix

Trumpets and glitter, it’s National Coming Out Day!

Remember the agony?  The fear?  The sudden relief and freedom?  Coming out for many of us was a process that started off in darkness and ended in light…a realization that took courage to admit and led to newly discovered peace and happiness.  For all of us who survived, let us celebrate and encourage those who are still fighting to be free of the shadows.

Here is what I recall of the first time I really came out to a friend:

I’m sitting on the sofa in Caroline’s apartment in Chapel Hill, NC with a heavy lump in my chest.  The warm light from the lamps fills the small room and pushes back the chill of the night outside as a little bit of rain is falling on the tree leaves.  My best friend in the world is sitting beside me waiting for me to go on, but I’m stuck and can’t speak anymore.  Her blue eyes are open and expectant, and so friendly…they’re the eyes you want staring at you as you’re about to share your deepest, darkest secret.

I mumble through a bit more…beating around the bush as if my admission of being gay to a friend will bring about earth-shattering change.  I feel like I’m walking towards a cliff and with each step I’m scared and excited to finally take the step off.  “I….uuhhhh…I,” I stop again feeling the tears behind my eyes and a dark voice whispers in my ear, this is it, this is the end, it’s over if you say this!  The burden in my chest reaches up to my throat and I can’t go on.  But I can’t go back either…I have to go forward…so I finally just say it–“I’m gay”–and before I can pull back to see the result, I find a sudden kiss on my cheek.  For a moment I’m delightfully surprised and then blissfully thankful.  Her eyes are still smiling and her face is even more relaxed than before.  That terrible burden I had been carrying around for months–the darkness that pulled at my heart every moment and threatened to overwhelm me–was just swallowed up in that single friendly gesture of a kiss.  A kiss that says, “Honey, it’s okay.  Not a big deal.  I love you”.

Having that support from my friend Caroline was a lifesaver for me–literally.  Thinking back about that time in my life still brings tears to my eyes.  To all the allies out there, know that you play a powerful role in a LGBT person’s life.  A supportive friend willing to listen is an invaluable asset to someone struggling to be honest about who they are to themselves and to those around them.  The voices of self-doubt and self-hatred can be drowned out by the voices of friendship and love.

So let’s celebrate self-realization and honesty!  Let’s celebrate acceptance and freedom!

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The NYC Triumvirate

Posted on October 6, 2011 by Justin Shaddix

The city can be a harsh and cruel teacher

In the great city of New York, there are three primary elements that everyone strives to maximize: apartment, job, relationship.  It’s said you can have two, but never all three of these so you are always left working on at least one in order to have that ideal NYC life.

As seen in my post about apartment searching, the quest to find and keep a great apartment in a city known for rents starting in the $1,000/month range is one worthy of epic poetry.  Ask anyone who has moved to NYC in the past 10 years about apartments and you’ll likely get a score of stories involving bizarre floor plans, unjustly shared spaces, and insane rents (insane roommates are another matter…I once knew a guy who opted to live with a wackjob roomie because the apartment was great and reasonably priced.  In the end he had all his socks made into puppets and awoke to puppet theater directed by said wackjob in the dead of night.  Worth it?).

Jobs–or careers, as some would say–are another matter where you can spend countless hours working on resumes and cover letters and attending dozens of “networking events” (aka desperate cocktail hours where you try to conceal your desperation behind smiles and subtle hints of your grandness) only to land a moderately satisfying gig that you take because you need health benefits and the wackjob roommate is asking for rent via one of your old soccer socks with googly eyes.  New Yorkers are often career-minded and driven, so even after a position is secured you spend your time plotting ways to promotion or searching for a better job on the side.

And then we come to relationships.  Eight million people live in the city so you think you’d have your pick of the crop, but because so many people are so self-focused on careers or sock puppetry and the city offers endless options and distractions, it can be really hard to match up with someone and keep them for more than a flighty weekend.  Spontaneous hook ups and brief romances are easy; any form of commitment–especially if you live in different boroughs–are rare and fragile things that are often believed only to exist in the wilds of the suburbs.

Three goals to achieve.  How many do I have?

Well, honestly right now I feel like I have one and some change.  My apartment is fine but I don’t yet feel settled or at home there…and my job is fine but I want more.  My relationship, on the other hand, is great.  I have a loving and fun man in my life who I can be 100% myself with and since meeting him I’ve grown and become a better man myself.  In fact I’d say my whole social life is great right now.  For the first time in my life I have the community I always dreamed about having–a supportive, fun, free community that fulfills my geeky, kinky, and adventurous needs (sometimes all at once).  I use to sit and watch Queer as Folk (secretly checked out from the university library) and dream of the day I would have a diverse group of gay friends to dance/laugh/play D&D with all while engaging in exciting encounters and falling in love.  NYC has been a great city for these goals.

So personally I feel like I’m winning, professionally I could use a boost, and dwellerly (what’s the adverb?) I’m looking forward to that OXO sample sale this month.

A wise woman once told me that it’s good to have at least one thing left unfulfilled in your life because it means you always have something to strive for.  The whole theme of this blog is becoming–or striving to be–something more…whether that’s Mr. Eagle or a better version of myself.  While the city can be a difficult place to make it, it’s also an ideal place to learn and grow stronger.

So here’s to my continued becoming process.

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Folsom Street 2011

Posted on September 28, 2011 by Justin Shaddix

Yeah you want some? Bring it.

Somewhere along the way through all the bare chests and scruffy faces the sun had come out and brought warm light to the street fair.  The day had started rainy and chilly and I had regretfully spent the morning covered up in a hoodie.  But now it was warm enough to be shirtless and the mass of Leather folks–veterans, novices, and the curious–were out in force all along Folsom Street.

The weekend of Folsom in San Fransisco is a weekend of handsome men everywhere you turn.  The Friday and Saturday before the Sunday street fair are days devoted to cruising, laughing, kissing, flirting, boozing, and generally enjoying the community of gay men.  Happy hours seem to last all day and bartenders automatically give you 2 drinks at once; old friends/flings/lovers reunite with gropes and tongues; last minute gear shoppers fill Mr. S Leather to get a harness or test the rope and restraints on a boy they just met; dance parties rage into the night and sweaty men slide against one another under bright lights or in dim shadows.  It’s everything your Sunday school teacher warned you about, but much, MUCH friendlier and far more freeing than damning.  It’s one of my favorite weekends of the whole year.

So by the time I arrive at the street fair on Sunday afternoon after attending Donna Sachet’s annual brunch, I’m feeling the crescendo of an already great weekend building beneath my tight little fight shorts.  My outfit for the day is all NYC gear: socks by Nasty Pig, shorts and bondage belt by XGear, and arm gauntlets by Slick It Up (boots are US Army).  I feel hot, I feel comfortable, I feel active and randy.  RUFF!

By my side is my man, his predatory Dom eyes scanning the crowd for potential victims.  We swagger down the street saying hey to friends amongst the flogging and paddling demonstrations–the crowds gasping at the particularly heavy hits.  Men and women, satyrs and whores, furries and beasts all mingling together…mingling in a much tamer atmosphere than one might imagine.  For the most part it’s all a show and a casual social scene.

I stand in the warming sun and snicker at the penis-shaped treats from the food stand and try to see if I recognize any of the porn starts signing autographs.  A moment later I turn around to see two men wrestling…boots and legs bracing against an assault of arms and grasps as a crowd begins to gather around them.  My man has found his victim and together they battle before tumbling to the ground in an unforgiving pin.  I wait and give them time to work it out and after a couple crazies shout some advice and take some photos, the men stand and I’m introduced to a sexy green-eyed stud.  The sun, now beginning to set and sitting lower in the sky, shines in those green eyes revealing all their bright color.  Despite his leather chaps and hot body, I’m most drawn to his eyes.  And held tightly by my man, I’m able to take some nice shots to his chest and watch those eyes slip into thankful submission.

I realize to some this whole exchange may sound strange and perhaps violent, but in truth it’s just a fun and satisfying interaction between Leather men.  After a few more “interactions”, we say good-bye to our new friend and head towards the exit of the fair.  The day–the whole weekend–has been a success and as I walk hand-in-hand with my bf through the street barricades to the city beyond I’m already promising myself to return again next year.

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One Vast City, One Hundred Separate Communities

Posted on September 7, 2011 by Justin Shaddix

Cityscape stretching on and one

Vastness is one of the things I love most about New York City.  Walking past one of the avenues you can look north and south and see the endless street lined with buildings vanishing off in the distance.  Between commuting to work and seeing friends I can spend hours on the subway rushing through the veins of the city from place to place.  Each neighborhood has its own style and feel from skinny blonde chicks in stilettos in the West Village to bearded vintage guys in BK to clean-cut suits downtown to thugged out dudes in Harlem.  Vastness…millions of people conversing along thousands of street corners with an energy that makes you feel lucky to be in such an active place.

But all this activity and life means that people are always buzzing around in lots of different directions and it can be hard to find your own place amongst all the chaos.  Meeting great people in NYC is easy…getting included with any regularity in their lives is what’s a challenge.  It took me more than a year to finally establish friendships with people who I felt like where truly MY friends…people I would see on a regular basis and not get blown off by when we make plans to have drinks.  Everyone is so busy and focused and invested in their lives…there’s so much to do at any given time that nailing someone down for a meet up–movie, sex, coffee, whatever–can be a real feat of scheduling skill.

So how does this impact the Leather community?  Well it means despite the fact NYC is filled with Leather/kink/BDSM folks, the community is scattered and lacks centralization for interaction.

I recently talked to men from all over the country–Seattle, Denver, Dallas, Fort Lauderdale, Raleigh–and from their stories it seems like the communities in their cities are a lot more centralized and unified.  They tell tales of monthly events, extended networks of friends and lovers, and convey a general sense of connectivity.  While the community of NYC seems to be in a constant state of re-evaluation and division, the Leather folks of smaller cities seem to be building and growing.  I think it’s great for those communities, but it really bums me out about NYC.

Weekly I feel like people lament the lack of spaces and community here in the city.  The infamous Lure can’t be mentioned without at least one fag getting all glassy eyed and saying, “Awww, the Lure…sigh….”  What the hell did you guys do with it?!  Why did you let it close?  How is it that I’m in such a great and vast city and being told Smallville, USA has a better scene?  Is it that we’re all too busy, too engaged in too many different ways that creating a central core isn’t a viable option?  Vastness…one of the things that makes the city so great is also one of the reasons we fail to connect.

This makes me think about the upcoming Mr. Eagle contest to be held on October 1st and not being sure who will run this year.  A contest that once had lots of contestants growling for position now faces some uncertainty…and I’ve decided not to run this year because I just don’t think I’m ready for the title (so I will continue on my “becoming” path).  Leaders are important for the NYC scene–both to foster community within and proudly represent the community to the rest of the country and world.  But with such a decentralized scene, what impact does a title holder like Mr. Eagle have on the city?

Le sigh, lots of questions with few clear answers.  Still I do hope some good guys make a run for the title…whoever he is, I will gladly support Mr. Eagle 2012.  I’m enjoying this process.

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